Tuesday, 14 October 2014

School stress

We have been so very busy each day & we dont have many hours to spare now Jasper is in school. I am finding this harder than bubb. He is so fueled by his school days & learning, he comes homes with all his knowledge fronm the day eager to show & tell. His writing was brilliant before but has improved massively, he knows all his letterland characters, their sounds & actions & loves writing & drawing. He has his little friendship group that he is confident in & has enjoyed play dates with. He has his best friends established now after five weeks & speaks fondly of every aspect of school. Lunch time hot dinners, his teachers, his play areas, p.e & his fav building blocks. There has been a few woes of nastiness in the playground but this has always been comforted or sorted by a teacher. But it disturbing to me to write that this week passed we had a very upsetting incident that I just cant shake from. Jasper luckily is so unfazed, he does not understand the gravity of the situation & the danger. But i know all to well the anxiety & stress Ive been burdened with, I know I will not forgive or forget quite as easily. Last Thursday on pick up from school I was informed by a friend that whilst she was stood waiting for her daughter to leave the classroom on recognition of her mummy, my darling boy was let out of the classroom un-greeted by me or a guardian. Pick up is between 2.45pm-2.55pm. Im unsure as to why we have a ten minute window but as it goes this one day I didnt get there until five minutes after pick ups started, Im always so early so you can see why I have had such guilt ever since. Thank god for my brilliant friends awareness as Jasper was first in line, let out first & not passed to someone who would care for him. He was left to wander for thirty seconds before my friend realised a family member or friend was not in place of me & so she guided him back to the teachers. I was made aware of this incident immediatley from my friend & obviously scooped Jasper up as soon as he was with me & in too much shock to confront his teachers who did not offer me this information or an explanation. That evening I was in bits to be honest. Angry & overwhelmingly anxious & upset. Speaking to others I felt that I was justified in my absolute nauseating fears & so the next morning I asked to speak with his teacher. She offered no explanation as to why I was not informed, how he had got so easily seperated from her with no welcoming adult & even tried to state that he was just infront of her when 'she' noticed I wasnt there so took him back in. A lie. A lie that now has left me with no trust in his teachers & after arranging a meeting after school Im still very unsure of how I feel about the follow up. His head of year was there & re-assured me it was a one off case & would make them all more cautious of security. It was complete lack of communication & the protocall was not followed. Its just bizarre as if I was the teacher I would be so horrified in my actions. I dont want to be overly expecting of what a teacher should provide but safety when I am not there for him is the only thing I would want to be 100%. Have an off day & my son play lego or jigsaws all day, dont teach him all the wisdom you could, but dont ever put my darling boy in danger. Its just heartbreakingly horrific & I just dont know what else to do to make the school days feel comfortable again. Im at home or work thinking constantly on what he is doing, is he safe, is he okay. Its punishment in the worst form for giving up my angel to a school system which seems to be so lacking. I had such ease with his school, his teacher when I chose this place for his education. I just feel so let down. Communication has been a bit better & the children are less rushed out at hometime but there is still things that niggle & cause such stress in my worried mind. I just really am clueless as to what to do. I dont want to change his class as he adores his friends & actually really does like his teacher & t.a. Its me with all the problems but I thin justified given the circumstance. I just dont bloody know :(:( So for now, school is a fucking burden on my heart and I hate that it has to be this way. Divinely my sweet natured, huge hearted lil man is fine. But if one thing comes out of this then please, teach your child that if you are not there, go back to his teacher & ask for help. Never let it be that your child may search for you. I never for a second thought Id have to explain to Jasper what to do if he is let out & Im not there!!* 
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