Friday, 22 August 2014

tick tock

this...

my tears are of pride, of overwhelming, combustable love, of upset, fears of lonliness & fears for my sweet natured, loving boy. They flow too easily when I think of my little man going to school, in full uniform, backpack bigger than he, in just over two weeks time. Full time in three. I have read posts from other mothers of school starters, nodding & teary. Im so excited for him but consumed by my own lack of identity without him here for the best part of the day. I have fears for him as his heart is huge & children can be so mean. Witnessing a few times at activities his upset of being pushed or shoved for a toy, an item snatched or thrown, making my heart break & Jaspers chin wobble with upset. I cant bare to think that if he was to fall, who would console him? If they would console him? I have such fond memories of my schooling so I encourage this independance for Jaspey absolutely but Im so not ready to let him go. Im not. I have winced at other mums comments of how they have hated the holidays & cant wait for term to start so their children are out from under their feet. Its just so crazy to me. I am literally going to start planning October half term now haha. With confidence I know my bubb is going to so love school. He's already in love with his very pretty teacher haha. But its with such a heavy heart I encourage his learning. Im going to miss him too much xx too too much 143

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