I recently just turned twenty eight. On appearence people believe me to be a teen mum with added stereotype & attitude. Really not much has changed but it got me thinking of how far i really have come since those teen years. The years I dreamt of being older, the unknown adulthood that made me anxious & excited at the same time. Being under the same roof & care of my dear family, my twinny boo by my side for literally everything. The good & the bad.
First things first, you achieved the dreams...you have lived very fortunate early adult years & have followed an unbelivabley bright path. You made your achievements happen so be proud. You travelled half way across the world alone in search of adventure, the fizz of your daily existence being that you seek experience & a journey in everything & everyone. You have gained the truest friends & lost a few. You have understanding & knowledge that you desired to have, clinging on to facts that interest you & that you have now interested your own children with. Yes, you have two beautiful angels. One born to you & one a blessing to behold. Darcey and Jasper. They are your heart beat & smile. Given to you by the most incredible studley, your wonderful boyfriend. You are happy, content & so very accepting & patient with the world now. No more tears over reflections in the mirror & being the odd one out. You are still a black sheep. Your love for vintage floral things makes your friends giggle at how oldy you are. Your quirky & so uncool. But in a good way. You wont be bullied for this anymore. You care for your health now not the number on the scales & your interests, hobbies, loves & priorities revolve pretty much solely around your wonderful cherubs now not your appearence or selfishness. You were selfish* You understand the true meaning to sister as you have grown with the most beautiful, loving sisters. Joey has by far earnt her nickname of cuteness. She still is so very cute, such a darling & so honest, a great friend, a brilliant sister & an outstanding auntie. Your twinny boo, well she is still right by your side. She is such an adoring auntie to both Jasper & Darcey and is quick to teach be it new words, cool dance moves of most recently how to ride her horses. You are in contact everyday, you have an incredible love for each other (you love her minions*) & now if you fight you crave the serenity to stop being stubborn & just apologise rather than harbouring hatred as teenagers know to do so well. You are so unaffected by negativities that do not hold with you, will not accept untrue facts but are still very much an emotional wreck with your senses overwhelming you most days. Be it happy or sad. You are not bipolar haha, just a tad over emotional still. Not everything worked out on the route you thought best taken, but you learnt from it & that is so very valuable.
You still have a huge love for reading & as futuristic technology goes you own twelve books on one handheld tablet called a kobo (basically what you used to always invent in your conversations with twinny on those nights your heavy books hurt your hands). You still love crime documetarys & reality tv. You have a passion for vintage clothing & household items, shabby chic you call it. You adore walks along the beach & around Swanbourne lake & realise how wonderful living on the south downs right by the sea is, so I guess, you appreciate nature. See that makes me old, Im nearly thirty!! eek...
You are well travelled & have had some amazing family trips away. You also travel to Australia, some what in a confused escape but hugely for seeking life on your terms. You work to fund a trip for three months up the east coast, these memories will never leave you & the friends you made are always in your heart, they made you feel energised to be you, they believed in you & affirmed your independance & security within yourself.
You live everyday for the child you created. Your happiness is shown in him, he exudes contentment, blissful happy bunny that he is. You call him studley & he calls you poo poo head* You were made for each other. Your body changed dramatically with your heart in overload when he was born. Your heart beats irregularly when he steals hugs & kisses from you & with those darling words "I love you mummy, i do.."
And you have demolished the disney tale of the wicked step mother theory, you are a wonderful mother to a child you did not create. You have a brilliant relationship & your love for one another is different, its special & unique like you both. You are entrapped by her curiosity & shy qualities. She was the making of you as a mother & regardless of what happens from now into your elderly years you will always be grateful for her innocent love & the teachings she blessed you with, you will always love her. You have their amazing daddy to thank for your blessings too, he is an adorable, dimple king who has hold of your heart & soul & i wouldnt choose a better partner, you did so good*
You have so much more to encourage you than you realise, you have a wonderful life. You made it that way & so for that I am so so proud. Your decisions, directions & journey were right. Stay true.
ps- you actually get over yourself, stop taking selfies so often & learn to smile not pout**